bodywrapFor the love of God people. Yes, I know I’m fat. Yes, I’ve decided to do something about it, but please, let me be clear –

I do not want to buy and or sell the following:

#It Works! Body wraps
#visi weight loss pills
#usana diet products

Or any other bullshit diet product of yours.

I do not believe that a cookie diet will work either.  I eat cookies all day long, it hasn’t helped.

Please do not invite me to your party to then gently tell me how fat I am and how you can save me. Be warned. I will turn this conversation around on you and tell you about what you need to do to improve yourself.  You’ll cry, but for fifty bucks I’ll coach you back to good mental health.

My desire to improve my well-being is not an opportunity for you to profit! Unless you are promoting health, wellness or lifestyle changes through clean eating and nutrition, or unless you are going to help me figure out how to do these god damn burpees better, leave me alone.

Yes I’m fat, but I’m not a moron.

You are.


Melanie is a tactical Event Ninja, Mama, Community Builder, Story Teller. Lover of strong opinions, big experiences & quiet nights. Wildly inappropriate when in good company. She can be found on twitter and online at


  1. I cannot express appropriately how much I love this post. So I will simply drink to you and eat another piece of cheese.

  2. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Can I use part of this post as my canned response to companies that want to advertise on my site?
    Love. This. Post.

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