Bloggers love to write. We write about our kids and our husbands, our friends and our in-laws. We write about our bodies, our jobs, and even other parents. But as any writer will tell you, despite the seemingly endless blog fodder, there are times when we will hit a wall and wonder whether we lost our writer mojo.
In the event that you find yourself in that position, here are 13 easy steps to writing a killer blog post:
1. Feel the urge to write. Get excited. Tell yourself that tomorrow is the day that you start writing for real.
2. Think of a creative, inspirational, witty, or downright hilarious topic. Convince yourself that you have the next viral blog post on your hands. Wonder how you will answer all the emails that will be pouring in. Write a few paragraphs about said topic. Realize that the topic is boring or the writing sucks (or both) and delete everything you just wrote.
3. Scroll through Facebook in search of inspiration. Read the latest viral blog post. It will likely be about how fabulous/easy/difficult/frustrating motherhood is or it will perpetuate the Mommy Wars. Throw up in your mouth a little, or scream a loud “fuck you” at your computer screen, or maybe both.
4. Scroll through Facebook some more in the name of “research.” Compare, judge, and berate yourself for being a horrible a woman, writer, mother, and human being. Call your therapist and see if she can squeeze in an extra appointment this week.
5. Scroll through Facebook in search of cat videos and memes. Cry and bang your head on your desk when you realize that cat videos and memes is what your writing “career” (i.e., hobby) has come to.
6. Come up with a new hot topic to write about. Tell yourself that this one is really going to be the next viral blog post that will make you famous. Plan what you will wear for your Today Show interview. Write a paragraph about said hot topic. Realize that it sucks and delete the entire thing.
7. Bang your head on the desk some more, and decide that you’re never going to write another word again. Never. And this time you really mean it.
8. Realize that you can’t stay away from your blog and text your best friend asking for ideas. Ignore her advice.
9. Check your book sales on Amazon, along with the book sales of the other writers you know with recently published books. Cry. Decide that you are the worst writer to ever publish a book. Call your therapist to see if she has any earlier appointments.
10. Follow your kids around and see if they do anything funny or embarrassing so that you can write about it. Realize that your kids are actually pretty boring.
11. Text best friend again and ask for more ideas, better ideas (her last ideas sucked). Ignore her advice.
12. Write a list of steps bitching about how fucking hard it is to write a goddamn a blog post. Include profanity.
13. Decide that tomorrow is the day you will start writing for real.
Christine is the author of Open Boxes: the gifts of living a full and connected life, which includes stories about bowling with preschoolers, lost blankies, shopping at Old Navy, and other paradoxes of parenting. She writes at www.christineorgan.com and you can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.
11 Comments
YES. The idea of making this post viral excites the hell out of my irony-obsessed heart. Love it.
You and me both, Kara! 🙂
Much of that sounds like me everyday. The only difference is that I am not even trying to go viral, just write something. Anything. Misery loves company. Woohoo.
Today’s motto: Must.Write.Something.
This is also what one goes through AFTER having a blog post go viral…because you put so much goddamn pressure on yourself! Great post.
Thanks, Glynis!
Ha!!! I so relate to this obsession. You are spot on with the thoughts of “what it will be like” and I’m sure when it happens, it’s probably nothing like the expectations and so you move on to “the next goal” that will make life perfect! Haha. Loved this!!
Thanks, Stephanie!
Hahahaha– this was excellent!
Thanks, Ashley!
Loved starting my day with some out loud laughs! Thanks. We’re really all in this together.