Social media is saturated with images and words of burnt out moms bonding over their mutual love of leggings, #Targetruns, wine by the gallon, and the desperate need to JUST. POOP. ALONE. While funny, and relatable, it’s a gross exaggeration that does a disservice to most of the moms we actually know. They are the ones killing it at work or home while also efficiently running households They are the ones juggling a million responsibilities and obligations like family gatherings, appointments, grocery shopping, and other “kin keeping” activities, and the ones who are barely getting by due to a death in the family or another personal tragedy. And, when they’d rather be lamenting with their mom tribe (eye roll) over a glass of wine and a messy bun, they are instead trudging through the thick of motherhood with poise and grace, all while (mostly) keeping their cool. These are the moms I know.
The moms I know are the ones rocking their newborns into the wee hours of the morning and then crushing it during a client presentation at work the next day, no matter how tired they are.
The moms I know are the ones who Google on end about the rash on their toddler, the cognitive development milestones of their infant, and the ones who commiserate with their fellow mom friends about their “tiger stripes”, complaining about them, while simultaneously also proud of this distinct honor.
The moms I know are the ones who are facetiming with their husband who is out plowing for the 26th hour in a row while a teething toddler is screaming in the background, all while telling her husband that she’s “doing just fine and not to worry”.
The moms I know are the ones who tour dozens of daycares, taking hours out of work or hours away from home, to still not find one they like.
The moms I know are the ones without a spouse, who shoulder the weight of the world without someone there to help with half of the responsibilities.
The moms I know are the ones who scream at their kids to go to bed, only to lay in their own minutes later wistfully scrolling through pictures at how much their babies have grown.
The moms I know are the ones scheduling doctor appointments and charting growth and milestones. Or, they’re concerned about the unborn baby in their belly and how they’ll give them a better childhood than the one they had.
The moms I know are the ones dealing with hard stuff—death, health issues, financial worries, job stress, and more. They’re struggling and finding it hard to ask for help.
The moms I know are the ones who spend days at a time at home, cutting coupons and stretching dollars, so they can spend some of the most precious years at home with their little ones.
And if you’re wondering about the moms I know, yes, we wear leggings, yes, we go on Target runs and hell yea, we enjoy our wine. But the moms I know aren’t going to be defined by the mind-numbing notion that this is all we do. We are so much more.
Lastly, the moms I know are the ones who will probably get a little misty reading this article because they know exactly who they are. These are the moms I know.
Kelly Santos is a mom to two toddlers, wife, and the founder of Cart Mama (cartmama.com), a shopping cart attachment that makes shopping with kids less frustrating. She’s a part-time runner, sweets lover and appreciates a hello and smile.
