Why are there mean girls at every damn school?
I’ve heard the excuses, “Maybe they don’t have a great family life,” “They could be having a hard time”.
Honestly, I have to say that while I’m an empathetic person until it comes to mean girls. Then this mama bear is going to growl and roar if you pick on my girl.
What I’d like to know is how mean girls get away with being mean? Why aren’t their parents reigning them in? How do the schools not know when they’re doing the mean girl bullying we all know still happens? Why isn’t anybody watching them or are they just that sneaky?
This mama is worrying. I am dreading September when my daughter starts high school. Ok, dreading it a lot. I pray that she won’t be picked on, I hope that there aren’t mean girls. But I know they will be there.
What’s a parent to do?! In my head, I’ll growl, I’ll march into the school if anything happens, and I’m prepared to take on the mean girls and their parents directly with a reality check. One that growls a hard warning if needed.
I am going to call it a “Enlightening Bitch Slap” of honesty, impact and accountability. I know that should the bad things start, I going to lift my Mama- mask and protect my cubs. I will make sure this behaviour isn’t going to hide in the shadows.
I’m sure I can’t be the only parent who feels this way? Don’t parents get so angry when their kids are being isolated, hurt, and targeted?
I don’t care what other people do, I’m going to fight for my daughter against the mean girls, their parents and the school. I would just love to know I am not alone?
I’ll also think positively unless I see otherwise. Maybe it will be a high school full of all wonderful people who can enjoy my daughter’s beautiful singing voice and her kind nature. If not, mean girls and their parents , the bitch slap is ready and waiting.
7 Comments
I think people see what they want to see. I’ve had kids throwing hard projectiles at one of my girls when the parents weren’t looking. I brought it up and they said they spoke to their kids who claimed a ‘different’ version of the story. Having not been there on this occasion but had seen something similar once before I didn’t push it. I later found out another girl, more assertive than my own, went through the same thing at a later date.
There’s also another group of the ‘we have to let them work it out’. I get parents intervene too often (me, guilty, for sure) but there is a line that needs to be drawn. Ultimately we are here to educate our kids or they are re-creating Lord of the Flies.
I am still figuring out how to manage it and my kids are not even in first grade yet. Good luck mama bear. give them hell and keep us posted!
A lot of the time I’m sure their parents are trying, it just hasn’t worked yet. This happens at the toddler and preschool level as well – people wondering aloud why the parents don’t “do something” when, actually, yes, yes they are. They’re doing everything they can. It may not be the exact same thing that worked for “our little Katie” and it may not be a big public show, and that may be so much the better for this particular child.
And often improvements are happening, just not quickly enough for outsiders to the situation.
We teach our kids to be patient with those who don’t master spelling as fast as the rest. The same should apply to social skills.
Thanks for chiming in Bronwyn, I sure hope most of them if not all are trying and I agree about social skills, everyone goes at their own pace but I would hope that the majority have been taught and learned some of what’s appropriate by the time they are in high school. Certainly they should know right from wrong by then but obviously I can’t know what they are their parents are thinking or doing. Still going to be the mama bear though if it comes down to it 🙂 Thanks again for your thoughts all views are appreciated.
Thanks Cordelia, this mama bear is obviously still try to figure it out too in some ways and it’s nice to know I”m not alone. 🙂
Mean people is one of my biggest pet peeves. I know there are exceptions to every rule, sometimes the kids do pull the wool over their parents eyes and sometimes the parents are bullies too. I see it all the time – adults can be mean and nasty and if their kids see that behavior they’re going to duplicate it. I know my friend’s son was the bully. It’s embarrassing, but she cracked down. He’s come a long way.
I also think that there are “nice” kids that don’t want to be bullied so they side with the bully to lessen any conflict. I think mean people will always exist, what needs to change is that we need to stand up to it and it needs to be disciplined. I know it’s different now than when I was in school, but they need to suspend and ultimately expel those who bully.
thanks for sharing Donna! it’s totally one of my pet peeves and I agree some pull the wool over their parents eyes, some kids just go along. I’m a big believer in standing up to it. thanks again!
For the most part I believe it is necessary for children to learn how to workout social conflicts with their friends starting in elementary school. Roll playing and discussing conflict situations at home with your kid can really help. However, that said there are children whose parents set an awful example or abuse their children verbally. Sadly, I’ve seen first hand how these kids end up verbally attacking others. With some girls, I’ve noticed a level of sly sophistication when it comes to going after a “target.” That sneaky behavior, coupled with cruelty, is when I feel it is necessary to intervene. Verbal & psychological violence, like physical violence, is unacceptable.