Shopping for a Wedding Dress While Pregnant

When they get married, many women want their wedding dress to be the cherry on top of a perfect wedding day. Some spend weeks or even months searching for the one dress that they may have been dreaming about since they were a little girl.

Me? I had wanted my wedding dress to fulfil two basic functions: 1) be comfortable and 2) fit my ever-growing belly. Oh and can it be pretty too?

Finding a dress was hard. When my mom and I went dress-shopping, we passed rows and rows of shops. The dresses were either fully covered in feathers, or they looked like giant heaps of whipping cream. 

The last shop we passed gave me some hope. I went in and told the lady: “I’m petite. I’m pregnant. I’m getting married. Find me a dress, please.” The lady disappeared for a while and returned with THE DRESS.

It was beautiful in its simplicity. It was halter top, with a corsage top that could be laced up to make the dress fit my growing belly. It was pleasantly cool on my skin and I loved the soft, silky fabric.

There was only one problem with the dress: it was white. You see, white is the colour of purity and since I was a pregnant woman, some folks didn’t see me as “pure” anymore. According to them, it was not within my rights to wear my beautiful wedding dress. Of course, I couldn’t care less and bought it anyway, but to tell the truth I could have really done without the tactless comments and glances.

For example, the florist told me she made the bouquet specifically to hide my belly. A friend said, “You will have this huge belly on your wedding day,” as if that was something that would embarrass me. But why should it?

I refused to be ashamed of my belly. As big and heavy as it was, it kept reminding me of the beautiful little girl that was residing inside. But I did have to get married abroad for that reason. In my country, no priest would marry us with me being this visibly pregnant. I guess sex before marriage is fine provided that you don’t know about it. The hypocrisy of this thinking was simply mind-blowing.

The dress was accompanied by a bolero in the same colour and- shockingly- a little veil. I also had earrings and a necklace and shoes that were elegant and comfortable. 

My wedding day went perfectly smoothly. I put on the dress, and the bolero, and the shoes, and the jewelry. My mom did my make-up. I looked in the mirror. Big belly and tiredness be damned, I felt and looked beautiful.

When the time came for us to say our vows, I had a moment of hesitation. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to marry this man. I did. I really did. It was just that I was nervous, speaking in front of all the people, and in a foreign language at that.

And then the little girl in my belly gave me a reassuring kick. I think for a while, I even imagined her saying: “Say it, mom. Say it.” I said it. I said, “I do.” I was 30 weeks pregnant.

I celebrated the 30 weeks of both subsequent pregnancies by putting on my wedding dress and posing for pictures that my husband took of me. It was like celebrating my wedding day all over again.

I think no woman should feel  ashamed to walk down the aisle with a baby bump. Instead, she should feel proud. Because one day, she will be able to tell her child that she was there when her parents said, “I do.”

{This ‘Best of Blunt Moms’ post was first published in August 2014}