If the Golden Girls were pitched today, I have to think it would be: LIKE SEX IN THE CITY…BUT WITH SEPTUAGENARIANS! Which begs the question: how in the hell did that show ever get made? And, more importantly, why was I so into it?
First, as to the weirdness of the Golden Girls, I’m going to just go and say it was a different time. There was something about hot, lusty grandmas in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. Look no further than Who’s the Boss for indisputable proof that the older the lady, the more action she got. Angela Bower was allowed to be the boss in the boardroom, but not in the bedroom. She was a successful businesswoman, but it took her approximately 37 seasons to finally bang the maid. Her post-menopausal mother, on the other hand, was down to clown, hooking up with a different dude every night. MO-NAH! It may be worth exploring what could explain this sitcom device. My theory (I’m sure not original) is that it turned female sexuality into a “joke” and less dangerous than if women in their prime were portrayed as being sexually promiscuous. It made sex fun for the whole family!
I remember watching the Golden Girls with my little brother. I looked it up: the show was on for seven seasons, from 1985-1992. I was born in 1978 and tuned in for at least a few seasons, which means I must have been watching when I was 10 or 11 years old…with my little brother! It’s crazy. But not really. There wasn’t anything else on; cartoons were reserved for Saturday mornings and after-school and there was no such thing as the Disney Channel. I probably laughed along at the innuendo with my parents, each of us pretending the other didn’t actually get the joke. This stood in stark contrast to the time I found myself, years later, watching the actual Sex in the City with my mom, before I knew exactly what it was (the title should have given it away). I didn’t want her to hear me laugh and I REALLY didn’t want to hear her laugh. By that time, however, we both knew. And we knew the other one knew. And, unlike the Golden Girls, there was nothing subtle about it. Also, there were lots of boobs. And more talk of anal than I remember in the Golden Girls. I really just wanted to get up and leave, but understood that would somehow make things worse. Neither of us ever spoke of it.
All these years after the Golden Girls has been off the air, my affection for the show persists and even brings back memories of my wedding (which, I know, sounds really weird). Our last song, as we left the reception and entered the world as man and wife, was Thank You for Being a Friend. Let me be clear, it was not played by a DJ or even by the band, but sung by my friends, my new bride and me (we all knew the words), with the wedding band accompanying as semi-willing backup.
Were the Golden Girls pioneers in openly discussing female sexuality? Probably. But I’m not a television historian, just a child of the ’80s who watched too much TV. The show was funny. (Plus, Betty White is a goddamned national treasure!) I cannot, however, imagine the Golden Girls being made today, or if it was, being marketed to such a wide audience. With streaming content that includes professional and amateur creators of all stripes, media has become niche and self-selecting. It has created a paradox of choice. There’s too much good shit on! Golden Girls isn’t a show that was made for me. There’s no reason I should have watched it, but I’m glad I did. It’s become an odd cultural marker for my generation. And there’s something a little sad in the knowledge that children will never again watch a show about the sexual adventures of the elderly. The next generation of pre-pubescent boys and girls won’t get the chance to exchange awkward titters with their parents at the antics of old ladies on the prowl.
Heehee…I said, titters!
So, on second thought, maybe it’s all for the best. I’m still 10 years old.
(This post originally ran on Amateur Idiot / Professional Dad)
About the author: Dave Lesser is a former attorney who much prefers his job as a stay-at-home dad to two hilarious and adorable children. His amazing wife fully supports his love of obstacle course, road and trail races. He ran his first marathon over two years ago and still won’t shut up about it. Dave has contributed to Time Ideas, the Huffington Post, NJ Family, SheKnows, the Good Men Project and others that he can’t quite remember right now. He saves his really good stuff for his own blog, Amateur Idiot / Professional Dad. Follow him on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook or, at a safe distance, in real life.
