I Have Tinderitis

Wannabee BLUNT
Written by Wannabee BLUNT

My hand actually aches from swiping.

I feel like The Bachelorette with the amount of first dates I’ve been on, but hear me…I am keeping MY roses. Sure, I’ve been out with some really nice guys! Like the one that licked my face, instead of shaking my hand when we said our goodbyes. Or the guy that slid me the check and said, “You got this. I googled your Ex.” And how can I forget the fella that asked me to leave after realizing I was Jewish? Yikes. Dating at forty-four just isn’t at all what I expected! The men, just like the women…are jaded, and have baggage. None are willing to put in any effort after being emasculated by their ex-wives…but can you blame them? It’s a total shit-show. I am tired; emotionally beat up. I’ve been divorced for 3 years, and pretty sure destined to be alone…

Until I “accidentally” swiped on 28-year old man-child.

A CUB! A “cub” is a guy under the age of thirty, that has never been married… and has no children. Single, and looking for absolutely NOTHING! These cub-a-licious men are on the prowl for COUGARS (women over the age of 40, divorced, usually with kids). This is a phenomenon! These younger guys are simply fed up with girls their own age pressuring them with marriage and a family. They’re totally content with being alone (for now) and concentrating on their careers. Sick of going on dates with girls that only want one thing…A RING! Ugh! Ladies, breathe. I know it seems like all your friends are hitched, and sure…it feels like you’re the only one without a kid at Duck Donuts. But it’s ok to be single at thirty! And some guys just aren’t ready yet! So, they’re on the hunt for older women that are DONE with that stage in life….and are just looking for a little drama-free fun! Cubs appreciate the straightforwardness and directness that Cougars bring to the table. They have no hidden agenda, and want nothing…Think Demi and Ashton!

Look, it’s a win-win for both Cougars and Cubs…

It’s nice to have a guy that has nowhere to be…No kids to raise. No ex-wife texting all the time. No stress. It is EASY! And both parties know it is what it is…eventually the relationship will come to an end. The Cub will grow up…want to get married and have a family. Or the Cougar will find  a man her own age. Long for some big-girl conversation…maybe stop discussing green-tea shots, and the latest dance craze at The Candy Bar. But hell, it is refreshing to be with a guy that is attentive, and honest. He stays up past ten-thirty, and can go more than one round (like in a row)! The sex is good…no its great. He’s actually more “grown-up” than most of the men you’ve been with…And even though you may have jeans older than him, he thinks the “appendectomy” scar in your bikini line is totally sexy. Sigh.

It’s funny, after talking with some of my single Cougars…I found that many of them have been hiding young CUBS! So, guess what little kitties…consider this training for your soon-to-be-hubbies! And by the time these boys are ready for marriage, they will be PURRfection! They’ll know how to have adult conversations, eat with the right utensils…and how to order wine at dinner. Oh, and how important it is to be HAPPY, instead of right. Don’t worry, you can thank the Cougars later! 😉


About the author: Jennifer Hurvitz Weintraub was born and raised (ever-so-proudly) in the suburbs of Detroit, Michigan. She attended Michigan State University, where she received her BS in Family and Child Ecology and Adolescent Development. She got married to the greatest guy around, and popped out two amazing BOYS! But, sadly…Marriage wasn’t all it was cracked up to be..and Jen suddenly found herself single! Divorced, and dating, she decided to write a BLOG, The Truth Hurvitz. Jen is real…a truth-teller, and she doesn’t hold back. Sassy and witty…heartfelt, and relatable, Jen shares her stories about all things divorce, and dating. Follow her on https://thetruthhurvitz.com/

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Wannabee BLUNT

Wannabee BLUNT

Wannabe’s are Guest Authors to BLUNTmoms. They might be one-hit wonders, or share a variety of posts with us. They “may” share their names with you, or they might write as “anonymous” but either way, they are sharing their stories and their opinions on our site, and for that we are grateful.

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