As I get older my impatience with bad drivers increases.
I admit, I’m one of those older drivers. This translates into clicking on my turn signal 2 miles before I actually need to turn, keeping my headlights on during the day and driving 45 on the freeway.
However, when I see someone being an absolute ass on the road, I kinda lose my shit and suddenly grandma driver turns into a raging bitch. People that piss me off learn the hard way it really wasn’t worth it to cut me off in traffic, tailgate or speed up on me while I’m walking in a cross walk.
One day I was driving when some fucker in a minivan pulled up behind me and started verbally assaulting me out of his window for going too slow. When I heard him call me a “psycho bitch” I put my brakes on.
As a woman I refuse to be verbally chastised by assholes so I got out of my car, ran over to his minivan and proceeded to call him a ‘motherfucker’ in the middle of the intersection.
Now, please don’t think this is the way to handle a situation because seriously, the guy could have pulled a gun on me. In this case I was lucky. After my husband physically pried my fingers from the motherfucker’s car door handle, he sped off and flipped the finger at me one last time.
Granted, not my finest moment. One MIGHT say I have an anger problem but if people gave actually gave a shit about their driving, perhaps I wouldn’t. At any rate, I guess I proved the guy right.
I WAS a psycho bitch yet I discovered I was strangely OK with it because I had called him out on his bullshit.
When I walk or ride my bike I figure I’m helping the environment and my ass by reducing my carbon footprint but it shouldn’t be at the cost of my life. Just yesterday I flipped off a young mom in her Audi SUV because she almost hit me when I was crossing the road.
At least the poor drivers waiting for the light to turn got an eyeful since I gesture like an Italian grandmother while yelling out some robust obscenities.
I’m sure all this is anger is going to come back on me. With my luck I’m going to be hit from behind by a little lady in a Prius. I can never hear those fuckers until they are up my ass and one of these times it’s gonna be too late.
