That time my kid found boobs on Google image search #CyberParent

Anne Radcliffe
Written by Anne Radcliffe

Were you one of those parents who said you’d never let your TV raise the kids? Yeah, so was I. How quickly that went down the toilet. By the age of 4 months old, the Muppet Show drawing my firstborn’s attention, keeping him happily sitting in his swing like a little TV-watching zombie for the 5 minutes I needed to pee or fold a load of laundry was the only thing that kept me from going berk.

When my son was four, I gave my son my phone and Angry Birds to simply have 3 seconds free of “I’m bored!” whining during multi hour car trips. And that began the spiral of descent into internet hell, when I actually had to start worrying about things like “Oh jeeze, what if he figures out how to buy $37,856 worth of pay-to-play crap.” Because you see, it wasn’t long after that that my son had access to his very own tablet at school, and then needed to be able to play Minecraft pocket edition at home.

During what I like to call the Minecraft years, in spite of my best attempts to lock down the computer, my son discovered that Google Image safe search isn’t really all it cracked up to be when he went looking for “Amber.” Fortunately for me, I was not required to answer the question about why there are so many pictures of boobies on the internet at this time and that the worst thing he managed to find at least was wearing bikini tops. 

And then my son discovered YouTube. 

If you have never yet heard the words “IT’S AMAZING, TRAYORIS” or “prankster gangster,” then you should get down on your knees right now and thank ALL the parenting gods for saving your sanity a little while. Then go out and invest in about 200 pairs of cheap but sturdy headphones (because your kid WILL break a pair every week by rolling over the cord) so you can keep that blissful ignorance about what these things are.

Truth be told, right now it’s not exactly YouTube that’s the biggest problem in my life. The problem is my kid Googling YouTube. If you don’t  believe me, accidentally type YouTube wrong in the address bar and then clench your buttocks together as your screen fills with screaming false popups about how your computer has been infected, and you have to sit there, breathing shallowly, as you navigate the minefield of your monitor ever-so-carefully so as not to accidentally click on anything while you desperately try to close the browser.

And then you realize that the time has come for you to stop sh%tting yourself. This is no longer sufficient internet protection from keyloggers, malware, and rule 34:

If your kid is old enough (and wily enough) to try to get on your computer and/or tablet, and you actually CARE about your computer not dying in a firey blaze of trojans and porn popups, it’s time to invest in something like ESET Multi-Device Security. ESET has the ability to shield your tech from phishing, viruses, and creepy app requests. It gives you parental controls and password lockouts so your kid doesn’t accidentally wander off and find Amber boobs (or worse). It helps you anticipate things that you can’t by automatically blocking more than 20 categories of websites, because only the holies know, we can’t possibly think of every crazy thing someone is going to put on the internet.

And if all that wasn’t great enough, it also helps give you anti-theft tools. Just in case, whoops, your kid forgot his tablet at that fast food joint. Again.

Or you did.

Do it sooner rather than later. Because at least the porn popups are known, visible enemies. The scarier ones are stuff you’d never know was there until something has stolen your internet banking password. Or perhaps you’ll get hit with something like ransomware. Ransomware encrypts your data, making it irretrievable unless you pay a “ransom” for it. It’s not just kids susceptible to these things – just ask my husband, who works IT, how many times unsuspecting grown-ups have fallen prey in work environments to ransomware and phishing schemes.

Trust me. Not having to have a talk about what that man is doing to that lady is worth it.


Tech Break: What DOES the ESET do.  Check out the scope of this baby! 

The Multi-Device security system shields you from:
1) Phishing Attacks – designed to steal personal identity info when shopping online
2) Anti-Theft Tools – for lost or stolen devices to keep them safe, secure, and give you a fighting chance of recovering the device 3) App Permissions – product shows you in an easy to understand view, which app is tracking WHICH info on your device
4) Viruses and other “Bad Stuff” – protected during downloading apps, files, and images onto your devices

The Multi-Device product also offers Parental Control for Windows, Mac, and Android devices.  

As a program it helps parents to limit the internet with parental control and only show their kids the “good side” of the web, preventing your children from being exposed to offensive online content.  You have the ability to blog more than 20 pre-set categories, OR add individual sites to the list.   This allows your kids to free range on the web, given them the opportunity to explore without fear, which is pretty much what we want for our kids in life. 

And to help you find a safer path, ESET is offering an AMAZING giveaway! 

Enter Below to Win a Samsung Tablet with a 1 Year ESET License!

ESET #CyberParent Giveaway!




Disclosure: I am part of the PTPA Brand Ambassador Program with ESET I received  Compensation as part of my affiliation with this group. The opinions on this blog are my own.

About the author

Anne Radcliffe

Anne Radcliffe

Anne usually speaks in memes and SAT words, and she frequently attempts to explain the laws of physics and high school chemistry according to the kitchen via her home blog FoodRetro. If you want to know why ice melts or pretzels turn brown, and you want to make food that you never imagined could be made from scratch in the process, she's your blogger. Her friends describe her as "hilarious when you get to know her," but it could be that they are just amused by the way she gets riled up when reading the paper. She can also be found playing the part of community editor and grammar nazi here on BLUNTmoms.

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