We need to talk.
I’m going to skip the introductory reassurances (that are mostly to myself) about how much I love you because, let’s face it; your attention span isn’t long enough for us to cover everything. So let’s get straight to it: I’m here to make you a deal.
Three deals, actually. I’m going to give you a few things and ask for some in return. OK?
Deal #1: Sleeping in my bed
In the early hours of the morning when even the sun is only shyly making an appearance, I know you like to come into my bed. I know you like to snuggle up with me and truth be told, I love having you there too. So, being the warm-hearted mama that I am, I will continue to allow you this pleasure.
In return, can I ask that you STAY on your allocated section of the bed please? That means stop resting your head on my stomach with your feet in my face. And when its time to wake up in the morning, can you bear in mind that I’m most likely NOT as well-rested as you are? In my groggy, sleepy haze, a big fat slap on my face to wake me up is really unnecessary? Same goes for prying my eyes open with your tiny fingers, and/or throwing the nearest item of technology on my head. I’m awake honey, believe me.
Deal #2: Mealtimes
I am willing to accept that you just won’t eat many of the things I want you to. I’ll make my peace with that and stop insistingly place broccoli florets in your plate at mealtimes. You can have your favourite foods all day everyday from now on.
In return, can you please figure out what it is that comes under that category?! Why do you LOVE pasta one day, but spit it out the next? When I’ve made a particularly optimistic effort for dinner, can you please at least TRY some before declaring all out war on that poor piece of chicken? It would also be super helpful if you didn’t throw your food around. I know its exciting to learn about gravity, but I promise you, those chunks of cheese will all fall straight down when you throw them; you don’t need to throw each one to confirm that!
Deal #3: Social interactions
I promise to no longer request things from you in front of my friends, such as “show aunty where your nose is!” I get it; you will not “perform” on demand, no matter how much I plead and bribe. Its embarrassing for everyone involved.
In return, perhaps you could let me finish a sentence without suddenly shrieking in the middle of it? Tell me, if you’re able to watch the same cartoon on YouTube 5 times in a row when we are alone, then surely you can watch it at least once in silence when I’m trying to have some adult conversation?! And when we go to someone’s house, it would be awesome if you could just put on hold your fascination with stairs. That whole chasing-you-upstairs-and-downstairs thing is just not as fun for me as it is for you. I swear.
There you have it my dearest little one. Just a few tweaks to our everyday life that I would be so grateful if you could make (translation: please, for the love of God, spare me a tiny bit of sanity by listening to me!!!)
Habiba is a mother from London, UK. She used to be an editor until she became a full-time-toddler-chaser! In her spare time, she blogs about parenting and food at Eat, Write, Be and is also on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.