Dear Party and Costume Stores: Stop Trying to Sexualize My 5-year-old Daughter

I had the distinct pleasure of trying to find a Hallowe’en costume for my kids just two days before the actual day. It also happened to be the day before my daughter’s first Hallowe’en class party, so I didn’t futz around in the crap stores, or bother going the DIY route. This mama had to get shit done, and fast.

So there I was, lined up at the local Party City, about 40 people ahead of me, looking at a wall of photos of ready-made costumes I could purchase.

Welcome to hell.

Those photos on the wall were divided up by age and gender. There was a baby/toddler section, an sections for ages 3-6, 7-16, Teens, and Adults. I desperately searched the wall for the Girls 3-6 section. I was pretty confused, though, because all I saw were photos like this:

Really?

I don’t know, guys. These “costumes” make me pretty uncomfortable. I realize some of them are ballerina-bee and ballerina-bug, but what happened to dressing up like an actual bug? That “Totally Bumble Bee” looks like an excuse to wear wings, a choker and, umm, fingerless gloves. Really? Also, am I the only one who feels awkward and gross imagining a 5-year-old in that “Midnight Mischief” costume?

But this is nothing compared to what I saw just a few squares down. Especially when compared to the adult costumes.

Come on. COME. ON.

Last time I checked, cops didn’t wear skirts. Or fingerless gloves. Also, why the fuck is this little girl wearing tall boots with a heel? I used to call those types of boots “Fuck Me” boots, and seeing them on a 5-year-old makes me want to throw up, a little. Also, why the sultry hand-on-hip, dangling-handcuffs pose? And the low-cut shirt?

I don’t know. Is it possible I’m just a stodgy, old-fashioned woman? Because I’m willing to admit that’s the case. I mean, I won’t be dressing my daughter up in this shit any time soon, but perhaps most parents are okay with these looks.

I find it all terribly disturbing, though.

I have heard people complain about the sexualization of women’s Hallowe’en costumes in general, and I am absolutely on board. When I looked at the women’s costume section at the store, I felt like I was in a sex shop, getting ready to pick out a fetish outfit. Sexy everything. Sexy Minions. Sexy fucking wizard, à la Harry Potter? Give me a break.

But doing this to costumes that are being sold to 5-year-old girls? As far as I’m concerned, you guys win Assholes of the Year awards.

This post originally appeared on The Joy of Cooking (for Little Assholes). Reprinted with permission.