Within the dynamic of every relationship, the discussion of children usually comes up. Couples are left to decide if they want children, and then if so, how many? Some couples choose to not practice birth control, and let God give them what they are meant to have. That is all fine and well, unless you end up like the Duggars…
We are not those people.
My husband and I decided long before we got married that we were going to be a two child family (unless we had twins or something second time around). He was the oldest of two boys, I was the middle of three (older sister, younger brother), so we decided two of our own would be a good compromise.
Years of infertility, two miscarriages, and two beautiful baby boys laternand we are officially done. What was there to do now? Decide who was going to bite the bullet and get “fixed.”
After weighing the pros and cons of both, and long discussions while I was still pregnant with boy #2, we decided that he’d be the one to do it. Here are the reasons why:
- It is easier for the man. We did the research. We asked women who got their tubes tied and men who got snipped. More men than women had positive things to say about their experiences with it. Most of the men we talked to said it was a very easy outpatient procedure and the recovery was not bad at all.
- He was more willing to do it than me. To be totally honest, I didn’t want to do it. Google: “Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome” and then report back to me.
- Metal clamps inside my body. Forever. (This is the procedure my doctor preferred.)
- Typical recovery time for a vasectomy is two days. Tubal ligation is four to seven. I am the primary caregiver to our two young children – I cannot be out for the count for a week! Of course dad is important too, but that’s where grandma comes in for backup.
- The cost. Vasectomies are cheaper. Insurance typically covers them, but if for some unforeseen reason they did not, a vasectomy is easier on the wallet.
- Typically, a vasectomy is more effective than a tubal ligation at preventing pregnancy. It’s rare to get pregnant after either procedure, but statistically speaking, a vasectomy has a smaller failure range. Go look it up if you don’t believe me!
- Last but not least is that part of me that likes to rear its ugly head from time to time. The “I’ve done enough” voice. It is ugly, but it’s true. I was the one whose body suffered two miscarriages, two rollercoaster full-term pregnancies, stretch marks, nausea, c-section scars/procedures, weight loss/gain, postpartum depression, hormone changes, and everything else that comes with having babies. I’m sorry, but it was his turn.
I’m really grateful for this guy. There are a lot of men who won’t go under the knife for the sake of family planning. They think it makes them less of a man or that it’s the woman’s job to get “fixed.” Not my hubby. He is a keeper. I do appreciate him taking one for the team.
In the end, we both know we are done. No more babies for us. To have the reassurance that we can enjoy our time together without worrying about getting pregnant again is reassuring. It is also nice to know that our little family of four is now complete.
(This post originally ran on Her View from Home)
About the author: Britt is a married mom of two young children from New York. She is a stay at home parent, freelance writer and human services specialist. When she’s not chasing her kids around or writing, she enjoys Netflix, traveling and vampire slaying. You can find her at www.thebombsahm.com.