Controversy reared its ugly head with a Time magazine article that recommended banning the word “feminism”. It was later acknowledged to be ill-conceived and was retracted. It gave me pause to consider the phrases I would ban if I could. I came up with my top three selections.
“First time mom” – This is the pat on the head from professionals or relaxed parents of many kids. Don’t get me wrong, parents of many kids have all my respect. If you can get more than one kid out the door with matching socks every day, you are a super hero. I find the expression offensive because it implies there will be another child and I will relax. My uterus has no blinking vacancy sign and if it were, nobody should be up in my business enough to see it. Maximum occupancy is as yet undetermined. Until then, I am a mom of an only child. Anything else is speculation.
“Broken home” – As a single mom, this is how people describe my child’s life. “He came from a broken home.” It’s just so dramatic and it feels a bit like the intro to a really sad documentary. Pass the tissues and cue the violins! I took a quick look around. We have a wriggly towel rack and a lamp that’s seen better days, but our home is intact. Things might have been broken once. Since then, we formed a co-parenting mosaic. The pieces came together to make something beautiful that my child is proud of. All that’s broken is the silence with laughter and maybe the world record for single socks in one residence. Where do they go, exactly? Parents of many kids, please advise.
“Blended family” – I was raised in one of these and I think the blended part is both unnecessary and inaccurate. We were just a family. We don’t need a label. Like any family, there are visible nuts. If we were blended, it was done pretty poorly. I don’t blend anywhere. I stick out like a sore thumb. If our family was a smoothie, someone would choke on us. Blended is false advertising and misleading. I can’t even blend my foundation properly. On bad days, I look like a leper.
Unlike modern leprosy, “feminism” isn’t going away anytime soon, no matter what Time magazine speculates. If I could make these three phrases disappear, I would do it in a heartbeat. Until then, you can find me looking for socks, drinking a smoothie, wearing splotchy cosmetics.
Alison Tedford
http://www.sparklyshoesandsweatdrops.com
12 Comments
Good list. I can see how all three could be offensive. I suppose it depends on your sensitivity, because sometimes I hear women refer to themselves or their families with these phrases. So much to think about with words. I think writers are likely more dialed in than others about these nuances.
Love this, Alison <3 And, for the record, I can never find socks in this damn house either. xo
Liam said “there’s a 50% chance I won’t find clean socks”. I leave him alone for five minutes and all of a sudden he’s a freaking meteorologist.
Broken Home is the worst! Do people even say that anymore? Well, they should be fined for their Broken Vocabulary. Keep on laughing so you can drown out all those misguided phrases!
It drives me nuts! sigh. We know what we are and that’s what matters 🙂
I dislike broken home because it sounds so negative. Divorce doesn’t mean broken and once broken isn’t always broken, right?
Personally, I have never minded blended family. My own family is blended and while we do not use that as a label, I do sometimes use it as a way to describe my family to others.
Great post!
Thanks 🙂 your opinion means so much 🙂
I despise ‘broken’ home.
First time mom I can understand, when we’re talking newborns. Otherwise, just mom works fine.
Love this and may FEMINISM reign forever! I will consider myself a first time mom until my baby is a few months old probably, but that won’t be until 2016. 🙂
Your baby is going to be awesome, just like you!
well, as Dr. Phil so lovingly says…Kids would much rather be from a broken home than in one. I don’t like the term broken home either because I am divorced and it made me feel like my kids were suffering because of that label. I am also in a “blended family” because I remarried. Blended family doesn’t annoy me at all because it just describes a situation.
“First time mom” also seems to imply “See? The reason she’s doing it all wrong is she’s a first time mom. She’ll learn.” No thanks. I’ll take a chunky smoothie, though!