I know this is radical thinking (I’m being sarcastic), but honestly – if people actually think that women LIKE cleaning everyone else’s wee off the floors, walls and toilet seats, or that it is somehow solely a woman’s job to do all of the housework, then they can seriously kiss my ass.
For one – I could not care less about hoovering.
I mean, I do it, but I honestly do not give a shit about it. I know having a clean and tidy house is a source of great pride for many people, but personally – having clean carpets does not make me feel a better wife, mother, woman or person, and I don’t need anyone to say “well done” just because I change everyone’s sheets once a week.
Secondly – I hate doing it, even though I am somewhat of a neat freak that needs to have a clean and tidy space around me to be able to function in life, this by itself does not mean I actually enjoy doing it. I know that for some, cleaning and tidying up can be therapeutic, but for me it’s more like a manic, angry, obsession that needs to be done as fast as humanly possible.
And finally – It is not my job.
I don’t care much for all the reasons people give as to why it IS a woman’s job to do the housework. You know, all the ‘well’ you’re a stay at home mom, what else would you be doing?’.
I’ll have you know that I have PLENTY of things I could be doing and none of them involve folding laundry.
Now don’t get me wrong, I get the logic behind dividing the roles – one brings in the money, the other keeps the home going, but let’s face it – being in charge of the home and the housework is the most never-ending job on the face of the planet, and can hardly be compared to a 9 to 5 job that includes benefits, insurance, dental care and holidays, can it?
I see women literally buried under piles of laundry, never keeping up with the endless amount of tasks they have as masters of their castles. Stressed out and in many cases underappreciated (because it’s your job and how hard can it be to mop the floor, right?), there is really no wonder why most mothers need a glass (or more) of wine at the end of the day!
And if we are being totally honest, then lets admit that most working moms are still ALSO in charge of the home and housework, even though they have that 9-5 job and are also bringing in the money.
Which is why I call bullshit.
But my main argument has to do with our children. Those little people who live in our homes and enjoy everything it has to offer, but sadly in many cases do absolutely nothing to pull their weight. You will be amazed how much they can actually help and take off your plate if they saw it as part of their responsibility.
You might actually have time to kick your socks off and lounge on the sofa! what a thought, right?!
Listen – I am not suggesting packing it in and doing nothing (although that would be absolutely amazing), but what I am proposing is a different perspective on something that has just been a ‘way of life’ for far too long.
You see, the home is a place the WHOLE family lives in, not just mommmy. It is EVERYONE’S responsibility and in everyone’s interest that the dishes, laundry and food shop get done – so why not start delegating and be the CEO of the housework rather than the cleaner?
My kids are still young, but even they are capable of doing far more than I had ever expected them to be able to do, from emptying/filling the dishwasher and tidying up their rooms to folding the laundry (really badly obviously but who cares? I gave up on being “perfect” a long time ago!).
My point is that my home is the place my whole family comes together. It’s the place we all eat in, sleep in, laugh, fight, fart and make memories – it is everyone’s castle, not just mine and I refuse to be a maid in my own home.
(This post originally appeared on Tova Leigh)
About the author: Tova Leigh is an actress and a writer. She currently lives in London with her husband and three daughters. Tova has written, produced and directed several films that have been successfully screened in film festivals around the world. She is the creator of ‘Tova Leigh’ where she shares her experience as a mother. Her article I CAN’T SEE A WHITE LIGHT, BUT I KNOW I AM ABOUT TO DIE about her experience with Preeclampsia during her twin pregnancy, went viral and helped raise awareness for the illness. You can also follow her on Facebook.