I used to give a sh*t about EVERYTHING in life.
Everything mattered to me. I cared what strangers thought of me and my life. I cared about why someone didn’t like me or if I was pretty enough for the world. I felt as if people noticed my every move (because you know, ya’ll don’t have lives), hence every move had to be perfect. I worried about everything and I wanted more out of life, constantly. I never felt truly content with what I had and I was constantly striving for perfection. When I had my first daughter it got even worse and I couldn’t keep up with myself! I wanted to be not only a perfect human being but a perfect mom too.
Then I got cancer at 23.
That was my wake up call. I could no longer give a sh*t about everything, I could no longer be bothered with small nuances in life because life is too short for that. And here is why I stopped giving a sh*t.
Imagine you and life had a relationship. Like a boyfriend-girlfriend kind of relationship. Let’s say he was an ass and one day you two broke up. The one who cared less about the relationship would have suffered less, right? That’s just the way it is. The one who doesn’t give a sh*t, or doesn’t love as much, gets to move on without having their heart broken! But the one, who is invested in the relationship more, consequently gets hurt more and suffers.
So the one, who always got kicked in the butt and had her heart broken over and over again, was me. Life was that boyfriend of mine who didn’t give a sh*t about me, kept breaking up with me and hurting my feelings.
And here’s what changed and allowed me to not give a sh*t anymore. I realized that life will keep f***ing with me no matter what. No matter how perfect I am, life will keep throwing lemons at me. They say when life gives you a lemon you make a sweet lemonade out of it or something of that nature. I say, f*** that. It doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes the only way out is to just admit that life sucks, suffer through it and move on. And whenever you can, don’t give a sh*t in the process.
Life is capable of presenting us with some pretty serious problems. And those ones, you can’t just ignore and not give a sh*t. You have to face them, deal with them, suffer through them or make that sweet lemonade whenever you can.
But when life presents you with little nuances, why give a sh*t? Save it for when you really have to give one!
Who cares if the cashier was rude, maybe she had a bad day herself and her life sucks even more than yours. So what, if your kid scratched the floor while playing, she had fun! Should I really give a sh*t about this stuff or should I be that person who cares less and doesn’t get her feelings hurt so easily?
I think I’d much rather be the latter and not give a sh*t.
You know what else changed after I stopped giving a shi*t? I stopped judging people. I no longer cared if that mom in the park is on her phone instead of playing with her kids. Who gives a sh*t! Maybe she just needs a break! I no longer cared if my colleague at work was rude to me. I stopped taking stuff so personally.
With social media rapidly taking over the ways we interact with each other, we expose our selves to the new kind of criticism too. So many people care about how many likes or followers they have, or the feedback they get from anonymous people. I say stop giving a sh*t. If you are on social media and had the balls to expose yourself in this way, you can’t afford to give a sh*t about how strangers will perceive you.
Try not to give a sh*t about stupid sh*t. And mind your own sh*t instead of worrying about others because they have their own sh*t they are dealing with.
Deimile Soares – I am a wife and a mom to two beautiful girls. As if I didn’t have enough on my plate, I decided to start my own blog (http://deimilesoares.com/). It’s a very honest and raw blog that will hopefully unite like minded moms. I am super excited about where this is taking me!