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fathers day

Where’s My Present?

fathers dayI suspect that many fathers woke up this morning and after a few minutes asked the million dollar question, “Um, honey, where’s my Father’s Day present?”. I bet they were darn surprised when they were met with an angry glare instead of a masculinely wrapped package.

You see, many fathers forget rule number 1 of Father’s Day celebrations: payback is a bitch. Did you forget to buy your wife a nice present for Mother’s Day? Did you, by any chance, suggest that she spend her day taking care of the kids, or even worse, go so far as to book her into a day at the indoor playground with a special lunch at Mickey D’s?

Perhaps you no longer even remember what you did for your significant other on her big day. “Mother’s Day….not ringing any bells here? Wasn’t that back in February or something?”

Um no, it was last month. And while you were filling your mind with the latest stats from baseball spring training exercises, we were muttering reminders to ourselves. Over the sink of dirty dishwater, between loads of laundry and certainly every damn time we changed a dirty diaper, we made ourselves a little mental note: “That man is getting NOTHING for Father’s Day.”

And now here we mothers are on the big day, staring straight into a face of disappointment and disillusionment we hadn’t expected to see until we announced that Santa wasn’t real. And you know what, seeing that look on your faces ALMOST makes up for having missed out on Mother’s Day.

Almost. So clear out some brain space and make a mental note to do better next year. Trust us, you won’t be sorry!

About Lynn Morrison

Lynn Morrison
Lynn Morrison is a smart-ass American raising two prim princesses with her obnoxiously skinny Italian husband in Oxford, England. Born and raised in the Deep American South, Lynn avoided becoming mired in the Mississippi mud by escaping to go to college in California. Had she known that the move would eventually lead to marriage to a nerdy Italian, she might have chosen a mud mask instead. As the Nomad Mom, Lynn exposes the truth about what it's like to be married to an uber-brainiac and the mother to multilingual children. The truth is, her days are pretty much like everyone else's, just with more pronunciations of the word "water." After a long day of struggling to remember to say "chap" instead of "y'all" or "dude," Lynn likes nothing better than to curl up with her Macbook and a glass of wine and write thought-provoking essays on why sweatpants are the new black or why it is impossible to suck it in for eight hours. If you've ever hidden pizza boxes at the bottom of the trash or worn maternity pants when not pregnant, chances are you'll like the Nomad Mom Diary. Lynn is an editor here at BLUNTmoms and is regularly featured on the Huffington Post . She's also one of the uber-awesome co-authors of I Just Want to Be Alone.

One comment

  1. Magnolia Ripkin

    This is in fact a most excellent strategy. The true test is long term memory.

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