Uhh…Honey…I’m late.

Wannabee BLUNT
Written by Wannabee BLUNT

Thankfully, I hear that phrase much more often from my husband than from me. Well, we have heard it from me, about three times, once every two years — and no, you won’t hear it again even though we are creeping up on the 2-year marker.

One mom with three kids is barely manageable, so I. WILL. NOT. BE. LATE. AGAIN. And honestly, I am never late — when it comes to showing up at a place when you’re expected. But, do you know who can never ever do that? My husband. Ugh, he drives me freakin’ insane with his tardiness.

What is it about men and being late? God forbid us women are late for anything, we have to hear about it for 18 years. But, with my husband, he feels as though it is perfectly acceptable for him to show up places anywhere from five to thirty minutes late. Most of the time, this makes me lose my sh*t. Yes, motherhood has somehow turned me into someone who freaks out at almost anything, but this whole being late business just irks me on another level.

My whole life I have subscribed to the motto that “the early bird gets the worm”, the notion that successful people are always on time, and very often show up early. But, guess what? I might not be right. I hate the mere thought of that, but it’s a fact.

I mean, if we really want to delve into this a little deeper — and we do, because why not — well, then I do have to give some credence to the legitimate fact that my husband has been immensely successful in his life despite his consistent lateness.

Let’s talk about his successes.

  1. Me. Yep, I may be biased, but I do consider him marrying me to be quite the accomplishment for himself. And, guess what? Guess who was actually even late for his first date with me? Yep, him. But, he still got the girl.
  2. His three beautiful and intelligent children. Yep — he’s been pretty successful in the offspring department and somehow, some way, he was actually not late for any of their births. But, I don’t give him any credit for that since all of the kids came earlier than planned.
  3. He’s done very well for himself career-wise. He’s been a hot commodity for each and every company he has worked for. I guess his talent, skills, and overall work ethic held more weight than him showing up to work 20 minutes late.

The fact is that although I like to give my husband a hard time whenever we are late due to any fault of his, it never turns out being a big deal. Nope, never. As every single second passes closer to a time that we are scheduled to be somewhere and we are not, I am slowly losing my cool. Like literally — my heart races, I clench my teeth, I start pacing, and my mind begins to think that I will now be on someone’s “sh*t list”, or look like a completely disrespectful a-hole.

The reality though is nothing like this. Most people in the world understand that life and people can get delayed. Because of this, it has become commonly accepted that tardiness is inevitable, and therefore is now almost an expectation.

And, I guess when you think about it — I kind of proved that point by choosing to marry a man who was late for our first date and many more thereafter. In my husband’s case he’s the worm, and it pays to be late.

I’ll say this…

My husband is a rule-breaker; always has been and always will be, while me, well, I am a die-hard rule follower, and it seems like you can see that playing out a bit here. While I assume (and hope) that there has to be a balance between being a cray-cray, neurotic, worrying rusher, and a lackadaisical, chill, assured, slow-paced individual, I don’t think that either my husband or myself are going to change any time soon, if ever. Since that is just the reality of our relationship, instead of expecting conformance from each other, we have simply resigned ourselves to the reality that his slow-to-get-going nature will drive me freakin’ batty, and I’ll reciprocate by pestering him.

Nicole Merritt is a mother of three and the Owner and Founder of jthreeNMe, an imperfectly authentic peek at real-life marriage, parenting, and self-improvement. jthreeNMe is raw, honest, empowering, inspiring, and entertaining; it’s like chicken soup for those that are exhausted, over-stressed and under-inebriated, yet still utterly happy. Nicole’s work has been featured by Scary Mommy, The Good Men Project, BLUNTmoms, Thought Catalog, Everyday Family, Women on the Fence & many others. You can follow Nicole at jthreeNMe and on FacebookPinterestInstagram & Twitter!

About the author

Wannabee BLUNT

Wannabee BLUNT

Wannabe’s are Guest Authors to BLUNTmoms. They might be one-hit wonders, or share a variety of posts with us. They “may” share their names with you, or they might write as “anonymous” but either way, they are sharing their stories and their opinions on our site, and for that we are grateful.

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