Today I’m Fucking Done

BLUNTmoms
Written by BLUNTmoms

Today I’m fucking done. I say this to myself, tired and overwhelmed. I’m lying here and I’m feeling very sorry for myself. It’s indulgent and pathetic but there is no gas in the tank. I’ve wrapped myself in the sadness like a burrito of discontent, reaching from my cocoon to hit the snooze button once more, as if that would delay the patter of little feet and the little voice that says, “Mom, I’m up.” I need 9 minutes to just be fucking done in peace and quiet, with nobody to judge my slovenly self-pity.

The last fumes that propelled me are now MIA, like my perspective, sense of humour and what felt like the last vestiges of my sanity. We all have those days, there’s nothing special about this situation, but I’m exhausted and today I’m fucking done. That being said, I’m a mom, so I don’t get to be done. It’s time to rise and shine. Why?

I am the keeper of the calendar.

I am the maker of the grocery list.

I am the knower of the things.

I am the family’s external hard drive of the things that must not be forgotten.

I am the safe place and the warm smile, the first kiss in the morning and the last kiss at night.

I don’t get to be done but I am and it sucks.

I’m not saying nobody else does anything around here. I have an active partner who is engaged and involved and he makes our world go round. But I’m still always on, because there are some things that are just better when Mommy does them, for absolutely no fucking reason.

I am the security blanket that’s unravelling but I still need to cover everyone. My threads will have to hold another day. I am a touchstone that’s all touched out on sensory overload, weary from too much input. I’m the button that’s been pressed so many times I don’t light up anymore. That’s just how it goes some days.

Today I’m fucking done but I can’t be, so here I am, about to rise and shine and get shit done… in another 9 minutes, ok?

 

About the author

BLUNTmoms

BLUNTmoms

An amazing collection of bright women who somehow manage to work, play, parent and survive and write blog posts all at the same time. We are the BLUNTmoms, always honest, always direct and surprising hilarious.

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