I have three weeks left to live. I found a lump, a tiny one on my leg.
I Googled it to be sure.
According to my findings it looks exactly like deadly cancer or a fatty lump deposit.
Fatty lump deposits are horrible. They start occurring in your forties and have a very unattractive name.
I’m not about to go around telling people I have fat lumps because it’s #fatshamingweek. And I am supposed to be ashamed of any fat.
I’m going with the highly likely chance it’s a tumor full of cancer.
Pray for me.
Good-bye loved ones. I will miss you.
My doctor only answers the phone between 10 am and never. I have to rely on Google to answer my questions. The problem is I have planned several funerals based on my Google diagnosis.
For instance when I had a nasty rash that some of you read about here, I got a whopping diagnosis of Accidental Soap Poisoning! OMG!
Someone in my house is trying to off me with soap!? That doesn’t sound like an accident to me.