Mom, you and I have always shared a very close bond, and I like that I can tell you pretty much everything going on in my life. But, please, don’t ask me about my relationships while I’m still in college.
First, it is misleading for parents to tell their children that most people find their significant other in college, when I can’t get a guy to pay attention to me longer than a week. College guys only care about alcohol and who is throwing a party that night; having a serious relationship is the last thing on their minds.
If we are being honest, I can be a lot to handle, and most college guys want a girl who just takes what she’s handed and doesn’t question it. Good and bad—you’re just supposed to deal with it. Any guy that knows me, knows I will not put up with any of their bullshit, so most of the time they just steer clear to avoid getting their ego crushed.
Even though I might not be dating someone, we can’t ignore the fact that sex might be in my future, but that doesn’t mean we need to talk about it all the time. If I’m asking for a refill of birth control, please don’t ask, “Are you having sex?” or “Are you being extra safe?” or “You know birth control doesn’t protect from STDs right?” Yes, I know. And, no, I don’t really want to be having this conversation right now. Also, please don’t assume that just because I’m on my own and have all kinds of freedom that I’m having sex with anything and everything that has legs. I am pretty picky about who I spend my time with, so you should be proud!
College is a time when girls have lots of guy friends, so just because I mention someone, it doesn’t mean we are dating or that I am interested in him. If I want to talk about a “certain someone,” trust me, I will, and I’ll be able to talk about how warm their smile makes me feel and how I don’t see anyone else when they’re around and all that sappy garbage I know you’d love to hear.
As surprising as it may be for you, guys in college don’t really ask girls on dates. Unfortunately, they’re more interested in coming over to “hang out” than in going to dinner and chatting over a bottle of wine. Don’t get me wrong—I have been on a few very nice dates, but it’s definitely not like the movies these days; no one is trying to serenade me from outside my apartment with a boom box and flowers.
But, on a serious note, I feel like it’d be a curse to be stuck with some of these guys for the rest of my life when all they can talk about is who can funnel the most beers and hook up with the most girls. I’m sure they will grow out of this immature stage, but they aren’t the type of guys I want to be dating. Be thankful I think very highly of myself and that I’m saving my time and love for someone who would rather read a book than take body shots off the girls’ lacrosse team.
Don’t worry about me, Mom. One day I’ll find someone to settle down with, but for right now I’m happy spending time with friends and learning so that I can be as smart as you.
Kiersten Finch is a junior at Saint Leo University, studying English with a minor in psychology. She likes to bluntly speak her mind on various topics—especially sex and relationships, even though she is nowhere close to being an expert. She has had multiple pieces published in The Lions’ Pride Newspaper, and you can read more of her thoughts on Twitter @kkfinch96.