I had big babies, I mean really big ones, and over the years I started having bladder issues.
In the crazy that is early parenthood, I put myself last, as most moms do, and my leaky bladder was no more than a nuisance
I went back to work as a woman in my forties and had the usual pressures of work life balance and trying to stay healthy, and as an afterthought, keeping my marriage healthy made it on the list too.
I had a long commute to work, that just kept getting longer. There were days when I barely made it to the office before my bladder urgently needed to be emptied.
One humiliating day, I had to phone my husband because I hadn’t made it. He came from work to bring me quickly purchased pants and underwear. He held up his coat by the car so I could change.
My humiliation was overwhelming. I was late for work, and in a parking lot changing my wet pants. That was not only embarrassing, it was so not my vision of how I would keep our sexy feelings going into our mid life marriage.
For a while, my plan was to find every bathroom along the way. It worked, mostly.
The truly tragic effect off being constantly anxious about an accident is that I no longer felt sexy. It was always an issue, mostly in my head but that is where libido starts, and I couldn’t find mine.
I decided to do something about it. I was not going to spend my life hiding and riddled with worry that my bladder would betray me.
They way I figured it out was when my husband asked me out for a date night. Fancy dinner, a little dancing and maybe staying over in a hotel. I wanted to go on that date. I even had the right dress that I always felt good wearing.
Determined to make this a new chapter, launched by time with my husband, I went out and bought the protection I needed. Depends worked for me, and felt like normal underwear. At first I thought that these would feel like the un-sexiest thing possible, but I forged ahead.
When he saw me in my dress, my heels, my hair done, and my overnight bag wheeling behind me his smile said it all.
This night is what we both needed.
I didn’t have a single worry that night as we caught up on our lives, ate, laughed, and danced. He held me during a slow song, and my mind was on him, and us, not on potentially having to run to the bathroom to deal with a leak.
I was glad I did something proactive to make myself feel safe. I found my confidence and my libido followed.
Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Depends, but all opinions are our own.