Pool season is in full swing in the South because it is H-O-T hot! Like peeling-my-thighs-off-of-the-vinyl-lounge-chair-that-my-home-owners-association-board-thought-was-a-good-purchase hot. And, now that my elementary school age boys are strong, confident swimmers, I’m finally able to get back to a fun past time of mine: people watching.
You’d think I’d be staring at the mom with the perfect abs trying to figure out where she gets the time and energy to sculpt those things with a baby on her hip or envying the neighbors with the best pool floats (seriously, where did you get that bean filled turtle???). But, it’s a very unexpected group that has caught my attention – the teenagers. They are a fascinating gang of sarcastic, tanned individuals who are completely oblivious to what is happening around them and they have taught me some interesting lessons this summer like:
- A Beats Pill+ speaker can get really, reaLLY, REALLY loud. My congratulations to the manufacturer. I no longer miss the freedom to be able to go to a concert any time I want because I feel like I am at one every time I come to the pool.
- The fashion industry no longer makes bikini bottoms large enough to fully cover a teenage girl’s derrière. My heart breaks for you moms of girls. I cannot imagine the pain and agony of swimsuit shopping with your teenage daughter and attempting to mutually agree on what constitutes enough bum coverage. (And speaking of those bums, I am very grateful that my boys don’t recognize them yet because I will never be ready for that.)
- Every time a teenage boy throws a football his male counterparts are socially obligated to tell him he throws like a bitch. Every. Single. Time. The only exception to this rule is when the male on the receiving end makes a miraculous catch. At that point you are supposed to yell, “Daaaaaammmmnnnn!”
- The teenagers at the pool are solely responsible for keeping the pizza industry alive and thriving. The pizza delivery guy seriously deserves his own key into our neighborhood pool. He looks absolutely pitiful standing outside the gate with both arms weighed down heavily with red bags full of steaming hot pizza begging for someone to let him in. I still don’t know why the pizza shop owner doesn’t just build a storefront in our neighborhood (I blame the HOA for this one, too). And, OK, I freely admit my bit about the pizza totally comes from the fact that I drip with drool and jealousy when those teenagers take a bite of that meaty, cheesy, saucy goodness. I miss having their metabolism (and a gallbladder).
- A neighborhood pool full of screaming, sunburned kids splashing and having water gun fights is the PERFECT place to have a photo shoot with an iPad. I hope those teenage girls never, ever delete those pics because twenty years from now they are going to want to look back on them and think, “Holy shiz! I had a rocking body!”
Honestly, I never imagined the teenagers at the pool could be so enlightening. But, do you want to know something? I’m so happy those teenagers are there. Not because they have provided me hours of endless entertainment, but because they are choosing to spend a part of their youth in a safe environment, out of trouble, surrounded by families. I hope my two boys will be those teenagers one day. But, thankfully, I won’t have to be there to witness their cluelessness to everyone and everything around them because, if there is one thing I have learned from the teenagers this summer, they always go to the pool without their parents.
About the author: Erin Gunti chose to become a mother even though she is allergic to coffee. Thank God she is not allergic to wine. You can follow her on Twitter @ErinTGunti.