I’ll admit I have a problem with receiving suggestions from anyone. If you have a suggestion for how I can overcome this, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF (see what I did there?).
I realize that this doesn’t make me saint material, or even friend material in some circles, but at least I’m self aware, right?
Let me be clear: if I say ‘I can’t find any organic almond butter for a reasonable price’ and you suggest a store where you have found it, we don’t have a problem. I am talking about the suggestions that start with, or have an implied ‘You know what your problem is?’ and how that usually revolves around parenting or parenting responsibilities.
“You need to stop feeding your son until he eats vegetables. If he is hungry enough, he’ll eat them.”
“If you let them stay up later, they will sleep later.”
“You just need to prioritize and then you won’t feel so overwhelmed.”
“Our kids drank 2% milk. That’s all they need. You don’t need to give them whole milk.”
“She’s old enough to be potty trained.”
“It’s simple, just take away the pacifier.”
“blah blah screen time.”
“blah blah blah nap time.”
“blah blah blah time outs.”
LeBron James was the straw that broke this camel’s back.
Okay, let me explain (poor guy).
A few days ago I received an email from Twitter that read ‘Twitter has suggestions for you!’.
Twitter, helpful friend that it is, thought that my life would be better if I followed Conan O’Brien, We Dem Boyz and yes, LeBron James.
Now, I follow a handful of entertainers, so I guess I could see Conan being on there. I had to Google We Dem Boyz — apparently Wiz Kahlifa’s page. I follow a few musicians, so I guess that’s another (very big) stretch, but LeBron James?
Twitter, do you know me at all???
Other than a few relationships with sports abusive boyfriends in the past (yes, that’s the thing where you call ‘uniforms’ ‘outfits’ in mixed company and are banished to the hole for a week), I can’t find any tie between me, anything I like and Lebron James.
Then, like a basketball to the head, it hit me. Those unsolicited life advisors are like Twitter with their sub-par LeBron James-worthy suggestions. (No offense (pun intended) LeBron.) They take the very tiny bit that they know about me, add in a bunch of random data that has nothing to do with me, and then lump it all together to make their magical suggestion.
So instead of getting defensive the next time I hear or read a suggestion that has no possible application in my life, I won’t put effort into justifying why it won’t work for me. I will listen politely and say to myself “It’s just not for me.”
Who knew LeBron could help me out so much with guilt and empowerment? I’m gonna go follow him now. I feel I owe it to him. Go Lakers! Or something.
Oh, and leave a comment. I said comment, NOT suggestion. Thank you.