Most of us have already been through the sleepless fog that is the new mommy phase. You’re discharged from the hospital with a colicky infant, a bag of industrial sized pads, and more hormones running than a high school drama team.

Fortunately, us older moms are here to help with some helpful advice:

#1 – Never say no to help.

People always offer, and you’ll always feel bad about taking them up on saying yes. Don’t. If you can’t think of something that they probably won’t mind doing, ask them to run a load of laundry (the great impossible, infinite task for new moms) or throw $40 at them and ask them to pick up dinner from someplace that isn’t fast food.

#2 – Let everyone hold the baby.

You may feel guilty that your baby is being held by everyone but you. Don’t. In 2 weeks, when the new baby smell wears off, you’ll be walking the floors with them at 2AM all by your lonesome and have plenty of one on one time with the baby. For now? Let them have the baby and go run off and sleep.

#3 – Technology is your friend.

Swing keeping the baby soothed when they want to be rocked for 3 hours? Yes. Muppet Show on TV absorbing their attention long enough for you to go to the bathroom in peace? Yes. Keurig brewer so you can actually get a mess-less cup of hot coffee with one touch of a button of your one free hand without spending 2 hours searching for the scoop (that for some reason you mommybrained on and stuck in the freezer) as the baby on your shoulder spits up down your back? 

Yes.

You will survive this lifestage. We promise. 

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An amazing collection of bright women who somehow manage to work, play, parent and survive and write blog posts all at the same time. We are the BLUNTmoms, always honest, always direct and surprising hilarious.

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