Cosmo Made a Car Just For Women

Alison Tedford
Written by Alison Tedford

Thank you, Cosmo, for introducing the first car made especially for women.


I had some questions about it, so I put them in writing so as to not interrupt your presentation or seem too emotional. I’m also not a serious journalist which explains why my questions are written on pink paper and all the I’s are dotted with little hearts. 

Is it 28% less expensive in recognition of the gender wage gap, or 28% more expensive like my gender specific razor? 

Given it’s so feminine and desirable looking, is it automatically my fault if someone uses it without my permission? Other things that are made “just for me” have had this problem.

If I drive it places you don’t approve of, will you threaten to shut down affordable garages that maintain it (like what happened to Planned Parenthood?) 

Do I need to drive it with my vagina or does the car just sense that it’s near, like a keyless entry system? I feel like I need to ‘snatch’ one of these up.


Can the exterior be modified easily based on the preferences of those who look at it on a regular basis? I realize it’s my car, but it’s what other people think of its appearance that truly matters. 

Is there room for car seats? My value is based primarily on my reproductive system. If I don’t already have children, is there a decal I can affix to assure the general public I am still dutifully trying to produce an heir and a spare?  

Has the GPS system been updated to include polling stations in light of the recent suffragette movement or will I need my husband to drive me? 

Does the rear view mirror have a sensing option to let me know if my outfit is appropriate for the work place? I need to make sure that I’m neither a prude nor knowingly enticing the lust of married men and those in authority. 

If something is wrong with it, will I have to pee in a cup each time or will you just assume the issue is related to either my cycle or my body mass index? 

Will it make me look fat? Also how big is the trunk. Folks like big trunks and they do not lie. My cargo space is sexualized on a regular basis and I need to remain competitive. 

If you could answer these questions in small words, perhaps on pretty flash cards I would appreciate it. That way I can bring them to the bathroom (with all of my friends) and we won’t have to worry about asking anyone if they can spare a square.

Seat MII Cosmo

About the author

Alison Tedford

Alison Tedford

Alison Tedford is a hot mess mom, daily writer of funny and serious shit, cookie arsonist and hogger of the bed. She's Canadian, but not sorry at all.

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