I just read this sweet little article from the Today Parenting Staff titled “15 keys to happiness for overwhelmed, overburdened parents” and clearly I’ve had a rough day, because most of their suggestions make me want to punch someone in the face.

Act like a little kid.
Thank you—that’s so insightful. I’m afraid a large part of the problem is that I AM acting like a little kid—screaming at the top of my lungs because I’m not getting my way (when I ask my teenage daughter to clean up after herself, stop whining, stop complaining, for the 15th fucking time…). However, if “acting like a little kid” means I can punch someone in the face, then yes, this suggestion might be helpful.

Regain perspective by getting enough sleep.
Ohhhhh……I should get more sleep? That’s a great idea—I had no idea that more sleep would help me be more patient with my family. I wonder how I could pull this one off? Oh, wait—I know—BY NOT DOING EVERYTHING FOR EVERYBODY ALL OF THE TIME!!!! WHICH JUST RESULTS IN MORE WHINING, COMPLAINING AND LIVING IN UTTER SLOTH! Ahhhhh…that should really help me rest soundly tonight…

Hang out with girlfriends more often.
Well, I do agree with this one…but WHEN ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIND TIME TO DO THIS WHEN ALL OF US ARE DOING EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE ALL OF THE TIME!?!?!?! And when we DO make time to get together with girlfriends, it’s when everything around the house is taken care of and children and husbands are already in bed, which means it after 10 pm, which just negates NUMBER TWO: REGAIN PERSPECTIVE BY GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP

View exercise as a mini vacation
Again…I agree….changing perspective on exercise and thinking of it as a break from the expectations of the day, instead of yet another obligation to take better care of myself and the pressure to firm up my thighs, lose my belly flab and fit into my clothes so I can look halfway decent at my 25th college reunion in one month and feel like a healthy, fit 40 something instead of a haggard, old, middle-aged woman, wait….how is this a vacation??

But don’t over-think exercise or make it too complicated
Too late. See above.

Skipping ahead…..because I don’t have time for all 15 of these ludicrous suggestions….

Get it on…
Okay. Seriously? While I am all for the benefits of good sex, when I’ve had a day like today, the LAST thing on my to do list is “performing”….So unless is it with someone who is generous enough to focus on ME, has ZERO expectations of me and who is not one of the people for whom I have been doing EVERYTHING, ALL OF THE TIME, maybe, just maybe, this suggestion might actually be effective….Chris Hemsworth, are you available?

How about my three ideas for the keys of happiness for overwhelmed, overburdened, parents:

“Hire it done”
This was the advice my mother gave me when I got married…and I remember thinking, “Why? Why pay someone else when I can do it myself? And besides, I LIKE doing things for myself!” Fast forward 20 years and I’m all about cleaning ladies, lawn services, and babysitters. Yes, it is an extra expense, but it is worth EVERY PENNY. Consider it an investment in your sanity—and it cuts down on future therapy bills for your children.

Take a vacation—WITHOUT your family
I understand, this only means you have to come home to all the piles of laundry, dishes and cat poop that have amassed in your absence—but that’s where number 1 comes in—hire someone to take care of these things while you’re gone. You’ll come back refreshed and rejuvenated—happy to see your family and they will be happy to see you (and maybe they’ll even appreciate you a little more—especially if you hire a real dictator to babysit while you’re gone!)

Get a prescription for XANAX

 

Meredith Dorsey is a Licensed Clinical Social worker who oversees the Children’s Services program at a large mental health center in the Midwest. She has been married for 21 years and is the mother of a 13-year-old daughter, who she and her husband adopted from China in 2003. Meredith has spent the majority of her 20 year career focused on foster care and adoption.

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