I hate working out. If I’m going to get sweaty, I prefer to be lounging pool-side with a cocktail and unlimited refills. Unfortunately, my waistline isn’t a fan of that method and is constantly battling my pants for more room.
In order to keep the weight off, I know I should exercise and eat right, but so far I’ve done neither and my pants are getting more and more stingy about giving up space.
It’s not that I physically can’t go to the gym. Although I’m overweight and my joints (and my mouth) complain when I do any physical activity, I’m completely capable of exercise. I just don’t want to do it.
Because of this, I’ve come up with every possible excuse to avoid getting my cardio on. From “It’s too sunny to go to the gym” to “I can’t go because it’s raining,” I’ve become a pro at excuses.
So to help out women everywhere, I’ve drafted a list of the top 10 excuses you can use to get out of exercise. Feel free to use these to keep you from cardio.
1. The running shoes were thrown out with the stiletto heels and other things you don’t wear now.
2. It gives mixed messages to the neighbors when they see you flee your house running.
3. The only songs on the iPod are Sesame Street and My little Pony.
4. Chasing around toddlers is enough running.
5. You can’t run more than a block with a baby stapled to your chest.
6. You have a headache—it works on your husband.
7. There’s no sports bra that could contain those breastfeeding ta tas.
8. Dow Jones—that has to matter, right?
9. That time is better spent napping. Or not running.
10. There are no close parking spots at the gym.
There you have it; my top excuses for avoiding that long distance run, and even the gym. Hopefully these will come in handy the next time your brain tells you to workout but your body says to take a nap.
Listen to your body instead. Your brain can be a bully and you now have reasons to throw at him to shut him up. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to grab a cocktail and take a nap. It’s too hot to go to the gym today.
About the author: Lisa Newlin writes her blog: http://lisanewlin.com