I am So Disappointed in You

Julie
Written by Julie

After spending two days solely dedicated to our kids, plus two weeks dealing with a sicko every day, hubby and I felt it was time to put some effort into US.

Friday was our darling daughters 9th birthday, which meant birthday cake baking, birthday dinners cooking, present wrapping and awesomeness delivered in spades.  

Saturday was all about the oldest daughter as she had a pretty important off island soccer game.  She played like a super star, and we celebrated out for dinner and with a spin around the closing Target store.

On Sunday morning, I woke up with simple plans.  I didn’t want to leave the property and I wanted to get things cleaned up.

Easy enough, surely.  Especially after we had smothered the kids in love and attention for the past few days.

Except every moment of my day was met with “I’m bored”, “Why can’t we do something fun”, “can you get XXX for me” over and over and over again.

It was constant interruptions, and a steady stream of moodiness and dissatisfaction.

And it put ME in a rotten place.

Even the dog was being bothersome, dropping his ball at my feet every 2 seconds, desperate for someone to play with him. (Note: there were 4 other people sitting around on the grass while I was digging and working, yet the dog STILL came to me)

Enough was enough.

I was disappointed in my kids. Disappointed in their lack of respect for “parent time”, their inability to notice that stuff had to be DONE, and the fact that they just kept asking for MORE MORE MORE.

I finally gave up. I sat back in the dirt, surrounded by angry, moody children, and now angry and moody myself.

But when I took my gloves off, and stopped focussing on my projects, I was immediately pulled into theirs.

I was present.

I gave in and realized that maybe today, it isn’t about me.  Or STILL isn’t about me.  Maybe the fact that my kids kept wanting to play with me was a good thing, not a bad thing.  Perhaps this is exactly the reason we came here in the first place.

In the end, I put down my shovel and I rolled cars with the little dude and played catch with my daughter.  I also “got over” my eldest daughters attitude and allowed her to go to a friends house to play.

We ate leftovers. We curled up and watched a movie. By the end of the evening my attitude was gone, and I sat snuggled up with my kids.

I started the day being disappointed that my kids wouldn’t allow ME MY time to get MY stuff done.

Halfway through I was disappointed in myself for not using this sunny day to bike ride, play ball and enjoy these special moments with THEM.

In the end, it just took submitting to the day, and allowing myself to just PLAY, letting the projects go undone for another day so I could enjoy the reason I am here at all.

About the author

Julie

Julie

A mom who knew there had to be more than an overwhelming suburban life filled
with good jobs and soccer practices, Julie swept her family off onto a small island in
BC to start over! Craving a life of fulfillment she blogs about facing fears and courageously going after your dreams!

She believes that if you do something, you should do it fully: eat butter, sweat hard and laugh till you pee. Julie’s blog is filled with stories of how her family adapts and continues to strive for a fulfilled life… while enjoying a few perks along the way!

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge