Listen, I get it. I totally get it and I understand you. You never wanted all of this, but now you have all of this and you’re searching for the physical and mental strength to deal with it all.
Let me bring you back to that day on the beach. We were young. I had just turned twenty-one and you were eight years my senior. All I had ever wanted my whole life, up until that moment next to you atop that picnic table, was to get married and have children. I told you this right then, and do you recall what you said back to me?
“I never want to get married and I don’t want kids”.
Funny how life works, huh?
We have been married for almost ten years now and have three utterly beautiful, amazing, and unique children.
You are right, honey, this isn’t what you asked for.
You didn’t ask to wake up to the same person for the rest of your life.
You didn’t ask to live with a younger woman who, for most of our relationship, has been still searching for herself.
You didn’t ask to have one kid, let alone three.
You didn’t ask to spend most of your days cleaning poopy diapers, consoling crying children, and helping kids learn to read.
You didn’t ask for your life to be all about anyone but yourself.
But guess what? You did ask that one question that lead to all of this — “Will you marry me?”
And when I said “yes,” you graciously and unselfishly said yes to all of my dreams, hopes and wants.
It turns out that most of the time, in life, well, we don’t get what we ask for; at least some of us. Luckily and thankfully, I did. But you, well, you got what you are made for — marriage and fatherhood.
Listen, sometimes we don’t get what we ask for because we simply aren’t asking for enough — of ourselves or from this world. We also don’t get what we ask for because we truly don’t understand our life’s or our own potential. We don’t get what we ask for because we can’t fathom the extent of happiness beyond our immediate sight and simple thinking. We don’t get what we ask for because that would just make life damn boring.
I hear you that that life with three children under the age of 6 is hard and that having a quirky, younger wife who is your polar opposite is anything but boring. Still, I’m more than confident in telling you, that although this isn’t the life you asked for, the fact remains that this life that you have, well, it is way better than the one you envisioned.
Nicole Merritt is a mom, and the Owner and Founder of jthreeNMe, an imperfectly authentic peek at real-life marriage,parenting, and self-improvement. jthreeNMe is raw, honest, empowering,inspiring,and entertaining; it’s like chicken soup for those that are exhausted, over-stressed, and under-inebriated yet still utterlyhappy. Follow Nicole and jthreeNMe on Facebook and Instagram. jthreenme.com and @jthreenme