Dear Bitchy Moms

BLUNTmoms
Written by BLUNTmoms

I’ve got a family of small town bitchy moms – aunts, cousins, and a hyper sister.  Every holiday I’m forced to smell their cigarettes and listen to their complaints.  It is as though these women have given up on themselves and their kids.

Their style is to sit around and bitch about how hard it is to be a mom, how little they are appreciated and how pissy their husbands are…

I sit. I listen. And yes, at times I concur. But for the most part, I really just want to tell them to shut {the fuck} up.

I am not a perfect mother by any stretch of the imagination. I let my kiddos watch too much TV. My house is always a mess of clothes, Lego and Barbies.  I kid myself into thinking my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are a serving of  “fruit + protein”.   But you know what?  It is me. I own it. But just because I can identify with being less than perfect doesn’t mean I want to listen to them anymore.  You’ve got it. I’m climbing onto my soap box and I hope that the matriarchs in my family are listening.

Dear sweet family, here are the three things I want you to do…

Motherhood is Difficult, Get Over It
Ok sweethearts – motherhood is difficult, it can be frustrating, it can make you crazy, and it can make you doubt everything you are.  Suck it up buttercups.  At the end of the day, motherhood is a privilege and should be treated as such.   Your voice is how your children learn to view the world.  Your children will grow up one day and judge you for your choices and on how you treated them.   Guess what? They can then choose to be in your life, or not. Conduct yourself accordingly and be proud of who you are as a woman and a mother.

Seek Joy
Looking for happiness? Joy can be found in the silence of a household of sleeping children at the end of a busy day of friends, fresh air, and freshly picked flowers.  Stop looking for joy in ‘stuff’ and programmed experiences.  A regular diet of Chuckee Cheese events and indoor playgrounds just helps you pass time.  Spend time with your kids. Go on walks. Let them help you make dinner. Make up stories.  Talk to your children as though they are people that matter.  Listen to their responses. Engage them.

Feed Your Spirit
Your spirit is hungry. Get out and do you. Be someone other than a wife and a mother. Go skydiving. Drink beer. Dance on a bar. Start a club. Write a blog. You’ll be surprised at how your spirit will respond. Your kids will enjoy seeing you differently too.

For the love of God, stop complaining. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You’ve got healthy children.  You have a husband that hasn’t left you – yet.  Embrace them. Allow yourself joy. Be someone you’d want to be around.  Understand that happiness sometimes takes work. You are not owed happiness, it is yours to achieve.

Know that your children are listening to you – one complaint at a time.

Finally, think of yourself twenty years from now. What will you have wished you had done? Who will you have wished you had been?

Ok – now find her.

 

About the author

BLUNTmoms

BLUNTmoms

An amazing collection of bright women who somehow manage to work, play, parent and survive and write blog posts all at the same time. We are the BLUNTmoms, always honest, always direct and surprising hilarious.

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8 Comments

  • You took the words right outta my mouth! I am all for venting and joking, but being a mom isn’t some terrible plight, and moms aren’t victims of a terrible situation. We are the ones that set the tone, and we have a choice about what our home environment will be!

  • Agreed! I googled “bitchy moms” a couple days before this Thanksgiving because my sister who has been a mom for 15months now, is always a bitch no matter how much we help her. She was a bitch before and an even bigger bitch now. Condescending, sarcastic, just a straight up a bitch who expects us to drop everything for her and will seek “revenge” if we don’t agree with how she goes about coming over for a “visit” as telling us when she’s coming instead of coordinating. I have so much animosity toward her and have told her many times to go appreciate life. Instead she piles on mom work for herself, spreads herself thin, does as much as she think she can for my mom and then bitches about how tired she is and that she has two boys and noone understands. We don’t want to understand why you are a bitch, just stop being a bitch, bitch!. You have these awesome kids, appreciate them and the family who support you, because you are pushing me away. She is never consistent if she owns her shit and tries to be nice, and if she apologizes and I don’t accept it because she always says her bitchiness is due to her frustration of the situation with the kids or something else, or she’s tired, she gets mad when I say her apology doesn’t mean shit, then she acts like an even MORE of a bitch. Anyway, enjoy what you can and stop taking it out on your loved ones, you bitchy bitchass moms!