It seems that at least once every week, without fail, I get threatened on Facebook.

Oh, I know. It all sounds very dramatic, doesn’t it? But it isn’t internet trolls or political arguments that bring the threats. Oh, no. It is usually someone who thinks they are doing me a favor. And the threats are always the same. Not word for word, but in substance they are. They go like this-

“Jesus said deny me in front of your friends and I will deny you in front of my father. Challenge Accepted: If you are not ashamed  copy and paste!! Amen!”

Now I am aware of the verse, having actually read the book and all, but for some reason this rubs me the wrong way every single time I see it. Any guesses as to why?

It’s the implication, of course, that if you do not copy and paste it is because you are ashamed and are denying Jesus and thus will deserve to perish in a lake of fire for all time.

Imagine it if you can—after a long and well lived life, I die of some super rare and terribly dreadful disease (because why not?), I appear in front of the throne of God to account for my life and this is how it goes down—

Jesus– You have been a good person, faithful and a believer all your days. You gave money to the poor and helped the oppressed (about now I’m feeling good with my chances), you fed the homeless—OH HANG ON. What do we have here?? Lookie at this. It seems that when Danny, and Mary, and Bob all posted the challenge and YOU DIDN’T COPY AND PASTE????

Me– Well, yes…but that was on Facebook.

Jesus– Of course it was on Facebook! We have the Holy Spirit monitoring Facebook all day long, looking for those who would deny me!

Me– Ok, but I really wasn’t denying anything, I just didn’t copy and paste something. On Facebook.

Jesus– Yes, ON FACEBOOK! You act like there is some other book you should be getting your information from??? Look, there’s just no way. I have to say I am surprised, but nevertheless, not copying and pasting is a one-way ticket. Eternal damnation for you. Sorry.

Because really, if you break it down, that’s what these people are saying. That not copying and pasting something on Facebook will get me thrown into a pit of suffering, front and center with none other than Satan himself, for ever and ever, amen.

Facebook.

Is that what passes for faith these days, in our instant gratification culture? Spending 30 seconds copying a status when you, to be perfectly honest, probably cannot even tell me what book of the Bible it comes from? Or is it some sort of talisman for people who are not living or studying their faith, but think they can hedge their bets. Hey Jesus, I know I am a self-absorbed, greedy, gluttonous, sloth, but I copied and pasted that status every single time I saw it, so we’re good, right?

I have never, and on principle I will never, post that status. It’s ridiculous. And furthermore, I don’t see you winning any converts to the cause with that kind of garbage either. I’ll take my chances with everlasting perdition because I honestly believe the Bible says we will be known for our works, not our status updates.

Author

Melissa Coble is a mom living in Phoenix, Arizona just trying to survive the teenage years with a lot of laughs, an occasional rant, and copious amounts of wine. You can find her counting the days until her nest is empty on her blog An Unfit Parent and on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

1 Comment

  1. susie b cross Reply

    You said it, sister. ANY manipulation to get me to share or copy paste (“i dare you”; “i know you wont”; “i know which friends will share…”) infuriate me. Not just bother, not just annoy. Thanks for nailing it!

Write A Comment

Pin It