Congratulations! You’re an idiot.

Anne Radcliffe
Written by Anne Radcliffe

As a society, we appear to be getting dumber, and the media has noticed.

Some authors have attempted to write thought provoking articles on the subject. Unfortunately, many of these “articles” read like bullet point lists. I snicker at the irony and comedy of this.

Why are we not smart?

  • Cat memes
  • Justin Beiber
  • Candy Crush Saga
  • The education system
  • Everything on TV

You following me with the level of dumbass?

If I had to judge by social media, we are capable of assimilating no more than five bullet points at one time.

I’d also like to add the media itself to their own bullet point lists, but some ‘witty git’ would probably think I was only talking about The Onion. Surely I couldn’t possibly be including any news outlet that takes Ann Coulter seriously.

That stuff about Canada not participating in Vietnam? Liberal disinformation at its finest. You’re going to argue with me? WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?

Have you noticed that, ever since 9/11 happened, disagreeing with someone with a big mouth and a brain full of Mr. Noodle seems to make you a flag-burner?

Maybe it’s just me.

Poor Bill Nye. He’s like the real life Ned Stark, yelling about winter coming while everyone is far more concerned about who the Kardashians—er, King Robert, is shtupping. He’s a David taking on a bunch of Goliaths, only these Gigantors have hard heads impervious to stones. And logic.

That was a debate on climate change? Bill Nye didn’t have to even get out of bed for that one… I was thoroughly equipped to fill in for him with all my background training as a mom. I could have rebutted half of Marsha’s statements with “If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?”

Apparently.

It doesn’t matter what the current bone of contention is. Gay rights, gun laws, education, global warming, who won WWII, the age of the universe, or what colour comes out when you pick your nose—someone attempts to speak in coherent sentences, and automatically some nutjob stands up and declares him a ‘fucking liberal.’

What. The. Eff.

I mean, I get that there’s a bit of a natural party division in some things like abortion and whatever. But whenever anything REMOTELY backed by science comes up, it appears to automatically becomes a war on right wingers that must be defended with God-given, 2nd-Amendment-blessed semi-automatics, miniature flags, propaganda and logical fallacies.

There’s no middle ground. No happy place where faith and science and politics can get along. The thing that really melts my brain is that few Republicans, if any, are standing up and saying, “don’t mind my buddy here; we’re not all banging stones together and picking lice out of each other’s coats.”

Surely there are some reasonable Republicans out there? Why are you being so quiet??

Scientists who are figuring out cures for AIDS and the mysteries of black holes should be considered the coolest people alive. But everyone is watching Honey Boo Boo and her train-wreck family in an episode of “reality tv” about eating road kill.

If you made it to this sentence all the way down here, congratulations! There’s sunshine and hope in the universe after all. You probably own some books as part of your liberalist agenda to promote your special brand of evil enlightenment. Use those books to beat the next person who calls deep fried potatoes “Freedom fries” or says that global warming is good, ’cause plants use carbon dioxide.

About the author

Anne Radcliffe

Anne Radcliffe

Anne usually speaks in memes and SAT words, and she frequently attempts to explain the laws of physics and high school chemistry according to the kitchen via her home blog FoodRetro. If you want to know why ice melts or pretzels turn brown, and you want to make food that you never imagined could be made from scratch in the process, she’s your blogger. Her friends describe her as “hilarious when you get to know her,” but it could be that they are just amused by the way she gets riled up when reading the paper. She can also be found playing the part of community editor and grammar nazi here on BLUNTmoms.

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

4 Comments

  • I don’t know about you, but I find myself catering to this kind of reader of web content in my blog posts. Not completely, of course – I could never do it 100%. But I do employ a lot of things like lists, images, and very short paragraphs just to keep people’s attention. It annoys me, but if it’s what I have to do to be heard…?

    Sigh.

  • I got into an argument with a bunch of kids who used the term “country” as an adjective.
    As in “I love being so country. Guns are cool.”

    And why did I get into this argument with them? Because they legitimitely believe that gun violence doesn’t happen because guns are prevalent in our society. Not only that but they think that gun violence only happens in The United States and isn’t a problem in Canada.

    I think a huge problem for CANADIANS particularly is we’re overly polite. A lot of us would apologize to someone who ripped US off just because it seems right to do. This also means we can be a bit apathetic when it comes to standing up for what we believe in. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told that “racism doesn’t exist” in Canada the way it does elsewhere and that people need to stop being so politically correct since apparently where WE LIVE Black people don’t feel any different than white people.

    The whole fucking world has gone to McDonalds in a camouflage minivan (ha!) and I’m sitting here going “WTF!?”

  • This, and the comments, and books, and Bill Nye, and science, and off it, and of course YES.
    My liberal agenda is only to get people off cable and onto Netflix. Oh, and to start utilizing their local libraries, because THAT SHIT IS FREE. And also to listen to audio books while folding the laundry. Even the ones about Reagan, if that’s what floats your dinky Republican boat.
    I’m clearly a Nazi-communist-socialist-America-hating-baby-killer-feminist only interested in… something evil… or something. Not sure what I’m supposed to be guilty of actually wanting, now that I think of it. What do Liberals want again now???

    • If I’m judging by people’s comments on news sites, it’s to ruin America with good education, free (or reasonably priced) good healthcare, a green and unpolluted environment, and fearmongering stories about climate change. 🙂