Pinterest is like this guy I dated in high school. He was pretty and interesting, but he lied to me and made me feel bad about myself. And ultimately, he was a big waste of time.
In an effort to spare you some frustration, here are some of the most egregious lies that Pinterest has told me.
1) No-Bake Cookies Exist
Lie:
You can make cookies by mashing together banana, peanut butter, and chocolate chips. No baking required!
Truth:
No-Bake Cookies do NOT taste good. They taste like you mushed together three things from your pantry.
2) You Can Create a Smokey Eye
Lie:
Photo tutorials and step-by-step instructions make it easy!
Truth:
The smokey eye tutorials are created by professionals. Can you do it on one eye? Maybe. Can you recreate the exact same thing on your other eye, in reverse? IMPOSSIBLE. This is a lie perpetuated by the fashion industry to make us feel sad and buy more make-up.
3) Clean your Baseboards with a Dryer Sheet to Save Time
Lie:
If you clean your baseboards with a dryer sheet, it will leave a waxy coating behind that repels dust, so you will have to clean them less often. This will save you time!
Truth:
You know what saves time? NOT cleaning your baseboards.
4) You Can Make ____ Glow with a Glow Stick!
Lie:
Break open a glow stick and mix it with clear nail polish to get glowing nails! Break open a glow stick and dump it into a mason jar for a beautiful decoration!
Truth:
Do NOT break open glow sticks. You know what makes them glow? POISON.
5) Toys can be Organized
Lie:
You’ve seen these posts. Bins in all shapes and colours! Books on cute shelves! Cars in little tubes or stuck to magnetic strips!
Truth:
Bloggers organize something, then instantly take a photo, because they know their kids are going to mess it up in about three seconds. Kids do not care about your system.
This one tricked me for a while. I had 4 toy boxes, and they were labeled: “cars,” “doll house,” “blocks,” and “animals.” Now I have 6 boxes, and they all say “toys.” It feels good.
Despite all this, I’m not quite ready to break up with Pinterest. I think I can change him.
Katie Edwards is a writer, librarian, and mom. She works for a non-profit and writes a blog called Best Birthdays. The blog is about kids’ parties and how to make them awesome, even if you are lazy. She also reads a lot of SF and speculative fiction, so she is totally prepared in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
10 Comments
This is hilarious! I say, dump his ass and eat some Ben and Jerry’s. 😉
yes, Yes, YES! This is so true. I fell like Pinterest has become a competition for who can outdo whom with ideas that are totally unrealistic and sometimes ridiculous. Who has time to do some of these things and furthermore, who would want to?
My favorites are 3 and 4. three just because.
4. – right?! how many crafts have I seen people say – hey just melt these plastic beads or plastic that whatever with your kid and make this cook craft. Uhm hello toxic fumes?
I love your baseboards comment!
This is awesome. I have tried so many variations of the no bake cookie…all resulting in exactly what you described. My husband has actually requested that I stop making cookies that taste like mashed up bananas.
THIS IS AWESOME KATIE!
Hahaha! I love it! I have never tried the no bake cookies, but they sound like mush, and apparently they are. Good to know. You should make this a monthly post series
Love this!
Spot on! And those organization tips always have a grand total of 4 matchbox cars, not the quantity rivaling a used car lot that most people have. Even I could organize 4 of something! I love the last line!
I’ve never understood the appeal of no-bake cookies. Turning on my oven is not the hard part of homemade cookies. It’s buying the ingredients, going back to buy the thing I forgot, finding space on my counter tops for all the ingredients and mixing bowls, keeping the kids from destroying the kitchen, and cleaning everything up when I’m done. Waiting 8 minutes while they bake in the oven is the easy part. Of course, opening a bag of pre-made cookies is even easier.